Yeah we WILL be careful on the roads. No we WON'T put to sea in small boats. And yes we KNOW that downstairs possessions should be moved higher because that's the part of a house that fills with flood water first.
And yes we are sick of stupid television news reporters standing knee-deep in flooded suburban streets pointing out to us what water looks like and other pricks reporting from windswept promenades, shouting questions at local councillors about flood barriers and stuff as the wind batters them about and you can hardly hear them speak.
Then the sniggers from the presenters in the studio as they then two-facedly advise "Get out of that frock Carol and go somewhere more sheltered."
And now I've just got that off me chest, I'm off to stand on the end of the North Pier at Blackpool wearing nothing but a thong.
