Tragedy

I found a little dead bluetit yesterday. It appears to have flown into my shed window and dropped in a tub of water and drowned. It looked a sad but beautiful sight, floating with wings outstretched on the surface of the water.
I gave it a proper burial and a blessing. I just hope it wasn't one of the couple who have been inspecting my birdbox in the old sycamore tree.
I have belatedly put something in the shed windows to prevent further mishaps (you could do the same).
On a lighter note, I inadvertently swallowed some stardops which had found its way into a glass. I drank a few pints of water to dilute it and spent some of the afternoon peeing bubbles - a great way to clean the lavatory whilst relieving oneself at the same time.

Gordon Brown's Legacy.

1. I've decided not to move house because I'm not paying Greedy Gordon thousands in stamp duty.
2. I don't save for a pension. The return isn't worth it since Brown raided the pension funds. Plus, as a former Equitable Life customer, my future pension got decimated.
3. I have started to spend my ISAs because, at the end of the day, if they are left in the pot when my wife and I cark it, these "tax free" funds will be lumped in with the house value and taxed at 40% inheritance tax.
4. I have been taxed to the bollocks to pay for one-parent pramfaces, wars and subsidies to adjoining countries.
5. Almost every aspect of society has got worse from crime to hospitals, corruption and educational standards.
6. Houses are unaffordable for the young, as is a University education - and inflation is on the up.

Yet we have this smug-faced git trying to con us all the time into thinking he's doing a great job of pulling the pursestrings.
What get can worse?
Oh I know.
Let's make him Prime Minister.
I've a better idea.
Let's not.
Meanwhile Rory Bremner has Twister Brown's budget speech spot on.

Brrr

I am sitting here typing this like a good vegetarian with a packet of frozen green soya beans (£1, special offer at the supermarket) on my left shoulder.
As it's under my shirt, my wife says that from a certain angle, I look like the Incredible Hulk.
The reason I am shouldering comestibles is that a relative told me he was advised by a physio that a packet of frozen peas can help in the treatment of frozen shoulder (FS from now on). We didn't have any frozen peas in at present so I hope frozen soya beans will suffice instead.
I'll try anything - apart from seeing a doctor. I have made an appointment with a practitioner of the Bowen Technique which I am hoping will be super,smashing, great. It's being trialled in the NHS with, I believe, good results. We shall see.
In the meantime, you don't half feel stupid with a packet of frozen food up your jumper.
It's uncomfortable and almost as cold as the smile on Gordon Brown's insincere face.

The Awww Factor.

Look at the birdies! Look at the birdies!

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos
Thanks to The Girl for this one...
(See. She does have other interests besides you know what).

Birdies

Saw a siskin on my window feeder. A coal tit stayed a while to shelter in it. Two male robins stood side by side eating seeds I had put out in my little side garden - an unprecedented show of fraternal solidarity. Lessons for Iraq there?
Oh and I was followed on my walk by a crafty jackdaw who immediately pounced on some peanuts I threw under a hawthorn as serendipitous fodder for dickybirds.
They seem to sense when I am carrying peanuts. It's uncanny.
I like jackdaws. Bit swaggeringly spivvy but very worldly wise.

Spring into action

There's frogspawn in the pond; I've just seen a bumble bee; the primroses are coming out and a curlew has flown overhead.
It's been a good day.

Flogging a...

Funster Johnny Vegas has turned tipster.
He has been giving tips out for the Cheltenham "Festival" on his website.
Unfortunately, one of his yesterday's picks "Little Brick" had to be killed when it broke a shoulder.
Probably won't be the last to die this week.
I used to put the odd bob or two on a horse on a Saturday afternoon but having given it some thought, I think it's cruel. So is greyhound racing where the dogs are often just shot after they are no longer deemed to be useful. I will never bet on horses or dogs again. Both "sports" are bent as buggery anyway.

PS: Try hitting a dog with a whip in front of hundreds of people and see what happens.

Most Wanted.

Have a look at this excellent site.
The Most Wanted system has been designed by Crimestoppers to provide a comprehensive record of current police appeals across the UK. The system includes the national Most Wanted list.
Put this on your blog, blogroll or your website and help rid our streets of this scum.
This is the link.

Snore blimey.

It is an exquisite torture.
Picture this.
I have great difficulty sleeping on my right or left side because of the stabbing pains from the frozen shoulder. The only comfortable position is on my back.
The only trouble is, when I do this, I wake up with a start every time I drop off because I snort as soon as I fall asleep.
I'm not a pretty picture. I have a Breathe-Right strip across the nose; earplugs firmly in place; I've squirted nasal decongestant up my hooter and lined my throat with a concoction known as Snorex which allegedly cures the problem.
When I do manage to drop off, I get turbo dreams which leave me knackered and the other night I leapt up in bed bellowing like Brian Blessed at a bellowing contest at an intruder in the bathroom.
He wasn't there, thank goodness - just a figment.
Oh, nights are never dull where I am.

The power of the mind

The blogger known as A Forgetful God makes a point in the comments of the post below this one that the mind can hold the key to curing ourselves.
This was brought home very forcefully to me a couple of nights ago.
A propos the frozen-shoulder induced sleepless nights,I was talking to a friend about how on a couple of occasions over the years I had suffered cramp in the calf of my right leg.
She had suffered similarly many times. We both agreed how excruciatingly painful it was and how helpless you felt as the pain got worse.
I said: "It would be funny if, by talking about it, I brought it on during the night".
Well it wasn't funny and it DID bring it on.
At 6-08 am the following morning, I woke up with a yelp as the cramp invaded my right calf. and I hobbled out of bed to press my foot against the wall. It's still bloody sore. It's a few years since I last got cramp, so I'm not really prone to getting it but I can't believe that it came back just hours after talking about it.
The mind is indeed a powerful instrument. Abuse it at your peril.

Frozen Shoulder

I have a frozen shoulder. At least, I think I have. I don't bother with doctors if I can help ( I am a man after all) it so I am going off guesswork and the internet.
It has been gradually creeping up on me for some months and is getting worse. I get a burning feeling at the top of my shoulder and my arm movement is limited. Putting on a jacket causes pain and driving is becoming difficult.
I get stabbing pains in the middle of the night, which is causing sleep disruption and if anyone bangs into my arm, I could scream.
By all accounts, a frozen shoulder can last as long as two years. I don't fancy going to physio as it's too far away so I'm self-treating.
I have just bought a magnetic heatpad; an electric blanket; some massage oil and a book about trigger point therapy which claims that a frozen shoulder is referred pain caused by knots in muscles elsewhere in the body. I am taking various vitamins and doing a few mobility exercises.
If anyone has had this complaint and has a few tips on how to get shut of it (don't mention doctors please), I would be very grateful.
In the meantime, I shall suffer in silence.
Ow! Ouch! Eeek!

Tranquillity

Is it tranquil where you live?
Are you in a red or green spot on the Tranquillity Map?
Do my 30 seconds test. Stand at the front door and write down what you hear.
I heard a flowing stream; the "teacher" call of a great tit; a light breeze blowing through bare trees; raindrops hitting the ground from a gutter; crows calling from the treetops and slight traffic noise in the background due to low cloud.
What is it like where you are now?

Pink faces

BOSSES of an airport parking firm that went bust tried to dump holidaymakers' car keys and do a flit, it emerged yesterday. Vehicles were abandoned near Gatwick after disgraced company Pink Meet And Greet crashed.

These are the people exposed by the BBC's excellent Watchdog consumer programme for the fact that employees of the company were using the cars for races; parking them on the road and in dangerous situations.
The clues were there: Would you use a company that says on their website:
BOOKING ( We excepts all major Debit/Credit card at no extra cost to yourselves). Once submitted please fill in you credit card details. How comes Pink are so cheap?

Since being found out, they have packed in or,as their website so eloquently puts it this morning:
PINK MEET AND GREET HAS SEIZED TRADING SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE CAUSED. ANY REFUNDS NEEDED DUE TO THIS MATTER, PINK WILL ADVISE VIA OUR WEBSITE, WHEN ADVICE HAS BEEN SEEKED.

Meating Requirements

If you love eating meat, why not watch this and see a living creature transformed into a plate of putrifying flesh before your very eyes...
More here.
I'm not sure whether this sort of telly programme is sensationalist, educational - or both.
I'll stick to Coronation Street.

Grasmere

I saw a robin eating gingerbread off the top of Rolf Harris the other day.
The robin was in Grasmere in the Lake District. As we sat on a bench not far from Wordsworth's grave, the robin perched on the back of it, singing his head off.
There are some stepping stone plaques on the footpath at the back of the church that you can have laid downfor a donation to St Oswald's church. Rolf is one of the donors.
Sarah Nelson's gingerbread shop is nearby and people eat the tasty sweet and throw bits to the birds who are amongst some of the tamest I have ever seen. A chaffinch and a normally-shy dunnock came up to us, bold as brass.
Some of the gingerbread bits had landed on Rolf's stepping stone and the robin was taking advantage (although I swear I heard him say: Oh no. Not bloody gingerbread again..).
It's a lovely spot with fellwalking, bags of history and riverside walks. Well worth a visit, as they say.
We are blessed with beautiful places in England. If only we could get decent weather and decent government, it would be even better. Well at least it's getting warmer.